Out of control
by KazeRogue
Summary: Will duty, responsability keep Rogue from being her true self?


Disclaimer: Characters are Marvel's (grrrr)  
This is just a short piece to express my feelings towards the recent (and not so recent) changes and decisions in the Marvel Universe concerning everyone's dearest couple (especially the course they've taken with the characters)  
  
  
Out of control  
  
by KazeRogue (KazeRogue@hotmail.com)  
  
  
Sleep. A simple thing to ask for. But impossible when you lay awake at night and try desperately to fall asleep. Nothing will work then, when you concentrate so much on calming down that you become more and more restless. Rogue' s sleep has always been troubled, when she had slept at all. From experience she knew that it was senseless to try at all, so she got up. She put on her bathrobe and went to the kitchen to get her some milk. She opened the refrigerator and took the bottle out.  
  
"Bit late for a snack, n'est-ce pas?" isn't it?  
  
Rogue nearly dropped the bottle, startled by the voice. Gambit leaned against the opposite wall of the kitchen, were she hadn't noticed him before.  
  
"Boy, sugar, don't do that again! Why are y'all sittin' here in the dark? We do have lights, y'know?"  
  
"I was t'inking."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
Gambit slowly strode towards the young woman and took the bottle out of her hands. He poured her a glass of milk and turned around to leave the kitchen without another word. Through the turmoil of emotions this little midnight encounter caused her, Rogue knew that she had to sort things out with the Cajun.  
  
"Remy, wait...please."  
  
Gambit turned around with cat-like grace to face her. The look of his startling eyes gave Rogue the creeps.  
  
"Uhm, are y'all angry with me? Ah mean, we're still friends, aren't we?"  
  
A short bitter laugh escaped Remy's throat. Then he glared at her with anger glowing in his eyes. Rogue suddenly understood why people were sometimes scared by his look.  
  
"No, chère, we will never be friends. We may love each other or we may hate each other, but we will never be friends."  
  
"How can you say that! We're teammates! Ah...Ah thought y'all cared foh me. Why can't ya just accept that Ah finally make mah own decisions."  
  
"Sorry that I'm not dat perfectly mannered, but my girlfriend jus' broke up wit' me and so I'm not in de best o' moods!"  
  
"Y'all cain't blame me foh finally makin' the right decision. You should know as well that it's right!"  
  
Gambit quickly walked towards her, pressing her against the wall. Rogue gasped in surprise and wanted to protest, but he cut her off.  
  
"No, now you shut up and let me talk for a change, chère! You say dat 'things will nevah evah work wit' us'! But dat's bull, and dat's it! Ya know what your problem is? Ya can't stand reality! Ya once said dat you t'ought I was the closest ya would get to Prince Charming, but I tell ya something: I'm not! You live in a dream-world because the real world has treated you oh-so harshly, and so you put every wish, everyt'ing you ever yearned for in your dream and built yourself your perfect place dere, without your powers and with your knight in shining armor, where evryt'ing was jus' perfect and nobody would ever hurt you! But now, in the real world, you can't accept anything less dan perfect, anything dat isn't enough to make your dream a reality. I'm sorry dat I don't fit into de little play you want to make of your life. I'm REAL and dat scares you to death. Because you can't control me like you can't control your powers. Because I'm not de Mr Perfect of your dreams. I might have my dark secrets and I might disappear for a few days and not tell you where I was and I might hurt you. But I'm de only real thing in your life. You can't control life, Rogue, because dat's what makes life worth living, dat you never know what will happen, dat you can't control it. When I met you, I saw a fire in you, a fondness of life. But you got scared, you withdrew into your shell, into your self-made prison. And now you decided that I'm endangering your house of cards and broke up wit' me. Now you might hook up wit' someone who will adapt to your composition of life, maybe Colossus? But believe me, everyt'ing that isn't crazy, passionate, uncontrolled love, is a waste of time. I just want you to take your bite out of life, because - believe me - life is too short to wait and someday you will be too entangled in your lie to taste freedom."   
  
He pushed her against the wall again, as if to urge her to believe his words. Then suddenly, he let go of her and left the mansion quickly. Rogue heard the engines of his Harley as she still leaned against the wall, panting. Trembling, she went to the table to sit down. She shivered and the milk ran over the glass she was still holding and over her hand. She looked at her hands, she was wearing gloves. It was midnight and when she had went downstairs, she hadn't expected to meet anyone. But she had put on gloves nonetheless, out of habit. She tore at the fabric disgustedly, frantically. Then she looked at her bare, trembling hands and started to sob, clutching the shreds of her gloves to her chest.  
  
He had no clue what she was going through! He didn't know what it was like to live a life deprived of human contact, with a responsibility for everyone you meet, a responsibility to not touch them, to not let them touch you. Because you're dangerous, because you might hurt them. Because your 'special gift' is no blessing. A curse? Sometimes. A responsibility? Always, always, ALWAYS! You are an X-Man, you have to use your powers to help people, not to hurt them. Who cares what happens to you in the progress? As long as you're not harming someone else... But she HAS touched people before. Before she joined the X-Men and even then, before her power became a responsibility...  
  
Rogue remembered the time she had spent with Mystique. She had been little more than a weapon back then, an assassin, a terrorist. A young woman with her whole life ahead of her. A girl fond of her life. A girl that touched people without fear, without feeling ... responsible. But that is what Xavier had taught her: With great power comes great...  
  
Everything that isn't crazy, passionate, uncontrolled love is a waste of time. Remy's words still rang in her head. She thought about the date she had planned with Colossus. Had he known? Or did Remy know her good enough to predict her actions? That jerk! Not everybody can live the life he wants to live, get on his Harley and just leave whenever he wants to. You have to play the cards life deals you, you can't just do whatever you want, without... responsibility.  
  
  
`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`´`  
  
Anger still boiled in him when he entered the apartment in New York he owned for the need of a place to withdraw from the superheroism. That pigheaded femme! She would throw away her life in a desperate attempt to sacrifice what was left of the woman he had fallen in love with for a nonexistent greater good. But well, he wasn't in the place to bother anymore. Good luck, Petey, or whoever will take his place.   
  
He went to the bathroom to take a cold shower, to get a cool head again. Due to his thief-sensitive ears he heard a knock on the door. A towel around his hips and water still dripping from his hair, he went to open the door. There she was, all beautiful and ...perfect. It took all his mental strength to pull himself together and keep up his stony look and not draw her close and...  
  
"Hi" that was all she said.  
  
Gambit said nothing, he just stepped aside to let her enter. Inside, she turned around to look at everything.  
  
"Nice hidey-hole"  
  
"How did you know about dis place?"  
  
She smiled and tipped on her temple.  
  
"You don't have much secrets left from me."  
  
Gambit thought it wise to not comment this statement and went on.  
  
"So, what c'n I do for ya?"  
  
She slowly stepped closer, looking at her feet, till she stood right in front of him. Then she looked up and their eyes met. Rogue smiled.  
  
"Ah don't wanna waste mah time."  
  
  
^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^°^  
  
  
Rogue laughed breathlessly as she ran into the woods, pulling Remy with her. At first, she hadn't been too fond of his plans for the evening, starting with a highway chase with the local police. Remy was a fast driver and he was too fond of his driver's license to give it away so easily. The cops would have to be faster to get it. They weren't. At the beginning, she had been furious, only staying on his Harley because she feared that he would lose control over the machine when she would suddenly fly off and startle him. Then, the adrenaline rush had overcome her and the chase had become an adventure. No responsibility. Rogue giggled.   
  
After having given them the slip, Remy had headed towards the public festival in Salem. Rogue remembered having felt like a little girl, enraptured by the lights, the glamour, the atmosphere. They've had fun, had rides on the merry-go-rounds, finally the Ferris wheel. This had been her favorite when she'd been a little girl, before her powers, before being able to fly. To gain new vistas, to be free, alone in the sky, like a bird. It had been then that she'd leaned against Remy, relishing the freedom, the nothingness. Free of all bonds. Without using powers. Being normal. Without responsibility...  
  
Then, they had driven by a beautiful lake that was privately owned. Remy had simply climbed over the fence and then gallantly bent a piece for his woman to get over it. When they had just been relishing the view, the alarms had went off and they've had to flee. And now they were running through the woods, laughing like teenagers. Out of breath, they stumbled and fell on the ground, staying there for a few seconds, catching their breath and admiring the stars above them. Rogue rolled onto her stomach and cupped her chin in her palm. Remy thought she had never looked more beautiful than in this moment, a sparkle in her eyes and the moon shining on her tousled hair. The image reminded him of some dreams he's had of her, but in these, they hadn't lain on the ground but ... somewhere else, though, in some of them ...  
  
"What are y'all thinking of sugar?" The woman in question asked, her eyes twinkling.  
  
"Not'ing, chère." He grinned mischievously.  
  
"Oh, Ah can see as much..." She pretended to be annoyed, starting to wrestle with him in friendly competition.  
  
  
  
.`^´._.`^´._.`^´._.`^´._.`^´._.`^´._.`^´._.`^´._.`^´._.`^´._.`^´._.`^´.  
  
  
  
They walked through the woods, though Rogue was rather dancing. Her arms spread out she spun around humming a melody only she could hear. Remy looked pleased and followed her. She faced him and a seductive grin appeared on her face. She neared him slowly and looked up at him with her deep green eyes.   
  
"Do you know where we are?" She asked innocently.  
  
Remy looked around confused. Several cars were parking on a clearing with a beautiful view on the city. But the passengers shouldn't be able to see much of that view, considering how steamed up the windshield and the windows were. Remy remembered the many many times he had taken girls to spots like this and grinned. But they were fading compared to this night. He walked up to Rogue who stood at the edge of the clearing, watching the lights of the city. He came to a halt behind her, encircling her with his arms. Rogue leaned her back against his chest.   
  
"Ah nevah was at a place lahk this. Ah heard girls talk about it, but Ah was nevah there mahself. Then, Ah hoped Ah could be someone else, to break out, even before mah powers."  
  
"Why 'aven't ya done it?"  
  
Rogue chuckled. "What would they have said? You have ta play yoah part. It sometimes made me wanna scream."  
  
"Scream?"   
  
"Yes!", here eyes lightened. " Scream with all my might, so that even the gods would have to notice me!"  
  
Remy grinned. "Why don't ya now?"  
  
"But.."  
  
He hushed her by laying his gloved finger on her lips. "Scream." he whispered.  
  
Rogue closed her eyes, then looked upwards into the dark sky. She took a deep breath and screamed like Remy had never heard anyone scream before. Not in agony or fear, but in pure liberation. The scream broke her shells and everything that had ever restricted her flooded out of the cracks, leaving behind a free woman. She screamed out her crimes, she screamed out her disappointment, she screamed out her anger, she screamed out her powers. She screamed out her responsibility.  
  
Suddenly the driver's door of one of the parking cars opened and a young man with tousled hair and unbuttoned shirt climbed out. He was definitely angry.  
  
"Hey, you morons, whaddaya think ya doing there?" he asked, stepping closer slowly. Rogue blushed and shut up.  
  
Remy put on his most charming grin. "Screamin'." he answered simply. Then, he too stepped closer till he opposed the shorter boy. Their eyes locked, Remy opened his mouth and screamed him right in the face. Then the Cajun grabbed Rogue's hand and pulled her with him, still screaming, leaving behind a stunned boy standing on the clearing sheepishly.  
  
  
[({/\})][({/\})][({/\})][({/\})][({/\})][({/\})][({/\})][({/\})][({/\})]  
  
  
They ran through the woods, still screaming. Screaming out guilt, screaming out pasts, screaming out distrust. Then they stopped, leaning against a huge tree breathlessly. Rogue looked up to meet Remy's eyes and smiled lovingly.  
  
"Ah think they noticed us."  
  
He looked at her confused. She cast her eyes upwards.  
  
"The gods..." she whispered, embracing herself. A lonely tear slipped over her cheek. She had broken out. She was free.  
  
Remy took her in his arm, staring into her eyes intently. She met his gaze and didn't recoil from their closeness. Good. His gloved finger ran over her cheeks, following the trace of the tear. Rogue felt hypnotized by his strange eyes and couldn't break lose. She didn't know if she wanted to. As he continued to caress her face, she felt as if to lose herself in him and in this moment. It seemed so unreal and at the same time she felt as if it was finally right, like it should have always been.   
  
At first, she couldn't make out the difference, then she felt it. The finger on her cheek was no longer gloved. She gasped in surprise and automatically tensed. She wanted to break away from his embrace, but his arms encircled her like iron bonds. Normally she would have been stronger than him, but his eyes seemed to freeze her in this place, eradicating every reasonable thought in her mind. She could just think of the feeling of his skin on hers.  
  
Slowly, he bent over and kissed her lightly on her mouth. With great effort, he broke of the kiss Rogue hadn't been able to respond and looked at her again. He knew he would destroy everything if he was too fast now, so he waited, suppressing his passion. Rogue trembled and stared at him wide-eyed. Then, the realization struck and a smile of pure joy crossed her face. She sobbed and threw herself into his embrace, burying her face in his chest.   
  
Remy sighed and thanked the gods for having answered his prayers. He took in the scent of Rogue's hair, felt her fingers clutching at his shirt and her tears wetting it. What he had told her in the kitchen earlier this evening had been true. He wasn't Prince Charming, but he would do anything for her. And an effort out of love was more valuable than every dream coming true.  
  
Remy smiled down at the woman he loved more than anything. No, they wouldn't waste time.  
  
  
~the end~  
  
  
I hope you liked. And I hope you liked to see the Rogue we've all been waiting to see again ;)  
Comments, criticism,... to KazeRogue@hotmail.com 


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